Do Rewards Work? Two opinions on children's reward systems

The experts agree: Bribes are bad and surprises are super. But can reward systems help kids change their behaviour? Carolyn Webster-Stratton says “sometimes” — with the right planning and follow-through from parents, incentives can be the boost some children need to move on with an important developmental task. Alyson Schafer, meanwhile, says “seldom” — she believes that rewarding kids takes the fun out of learning to do things independently and keeps kids from meeting their potential. Here are the arguments.

PRO – An extra boost

Young children work hard to meet their milestones — whether it’s becoming toilet trained, dressing independently, playing co-operatively or learning to read. Encouragement and praise from parents help them get there but, occasionally, kids need a little extra incentive. That’s where rewards can be helpful.

Parents sometimes worry that rewards will make their children “sticker dependent,” or that using rewards will decrease inner motivation. It’s true that these things might happen when rewards are not well planned or are not developmentally appropriate. However, when used correctly, rewards can help kids succeed, make them proud of their accomplishments, and motivate them to keep working on challenges.

In my book, The Incredible Years, I outline the steps to follow when setting up a reward system:

• Define the desired behaviour clearly: “Sit quietly and read a few pages of your book” is better than “Turn off the TV and do something else.”
• Don’t make reward programs too complex; choose one or two behaviours to start.
• Choose incentives that are cheap and fun. An extra bedtime story or 10 minutes of playtime can work as well as or better than a prize.
• Pair rewards with praise and attention.
• When you see the behaviour you want, be sure to reward your child.
• Change or phase out the rewards as the behaviour becomes easier for your child.
• For kids four to six years, spontaneous, surprise rewards are the best way to celebrate successes. If your five-year-old waited quietly until you were off the phone, treat him to a story for being so patient.
• Six- to 10-year-olds often like points or stickers they can trade in for a reward of their choice (subject to your approval, of course).
• Trying to bribe kids with the promise of a reward while they are in the midst of misbehaving is ineffective and counterproductive.

Here are two ways parents might use rewards. Six-year-old Marcus is struggling with reading. When his parents ask him to read instead of watch TV, he gets frustrated and distracted, and quickly gives up. So his mother sets up a system in which Marcus receives a special dinosaur sticker every time he reads a page with her. When he has five stickers, Marcus can have 10 minutes of playtime with his mom (or a small treat, or TV time).

Marcus’s mom uses a kitchen timer to let him know when 10 minutes of playtime have passed. And while he is reading, she sits with him, coaching and praising his effort: “I’m so proud of how hard you worked to read those pages! I bet you’re proud of yourself for doing that much reading!” Once Marcus is more independent and self-confident about reading, his mom can eliminate the reward or set a harder goal, such as reading more pages before getting a sticker.

Now consider another six-year-old boy, Ben, who throws a tantrum at the mall when his mom asks him to sit quietly while she speaks with a sales clerk. She responds by giving him some candy so he will stop yelling. The candy is a bribe, not a reward, because it is given before the desired behaviour has occurred and is actually reinforcing the yelling behaviour.

Misusing rewards does not help Ben to learn how to wait independently; he’s actually learning to use tantrums to get what he wants. A better way to handle the situation would be for Ben’s mom to plan with him that he could earn a sticker at each store where he waited quietly, and when he earned four stickers, he’d be treated to a special treat such as ice cream.

I like to describe rewards as a kind of scaffolding that can be removed when the new behaviour has a solid foundation. Remember how you supported your baby as he learned to crawl, and then walk? Rewards can perform the same role in a child’s emotional and social development.

— Carolyn Webster-Stratton, clinical psychologist, director of the Parenting Clinic at the University of Washington in Seattle, and creator of The Incredible Years, a training program for parents, teachers and children.

Fuente: Today´s Parents