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sábado, 16 de octubre de 2010
lunes, 11 de octubre de 2010
The online baby
Remember those baby albums you have stuck somewhere down the back of a closet, where you're running naked, or sitting on the potty for the first time, or eating spaghetti in your high chair with it falling all over your head?
No doubt your parents have done what all Kiwi parents seem to love doing and displayed a lovingly hand-picked selection at your 21st party.
I was horrified to see, at my 21st, my mother's adoringly assembled montage of photos, including several from my fat, spotty, frizzy-haired (at that stage all-too-recent) adolescence.
"But I loved the way you were then," she said as I hysterically wailed in protest.
These days, parents hardly wait until a child's 21st any more. In fact, according to research out from AVG Technologies (a security software firm based in Oz), 91 per cent of Kiwi children have "some kind of digital dossier or footprint" on the internet by the time they are two years old.
By that, the research means that 91 per cent of Kiwi mothers with children under the age of two have uploaded images of their kids - whether that means a full moving montage with pictures on a custom-built website (a first child thing surely!) - or a picture on Facebook to let everyone know your child continues to have the requisite number of body parts.
A further third of all mothers had uploaded images of their newborns, and 23 per cent had uploaded antenatal scans online.
(I know people are in love with antenatal scans but really, what kind of information can they impart except that a child has its extremities? And even then, the information can be confusing. My sister sent me her child's scan, which seemed to indicate she was incubating a child with a leg coming out of its forehead. As you'd hope, this was an inaccurate reading of the situation!)
To my mind, the worry isn't particularly that a wide audience might be able to see pictures of your child. Despite the constant warnings about internet predators and paedophiles lurking, it seems to me that keeping tabs on your child's physical and emotional health in real life might counter internet "stranger danger" - at least as well as any other danger your child is going to face.
The real danger is that your child will eventually hate you sharing every intimate detail of their lives online.
As AVG says, you're "creating a digital history for a human being that will follow him or her around for the rest of [his or her] life".
Those warnings dovetail nicely with recent warnings about information posted to social networking sites like Facebook - information such as drunken escapades, sexy shennanigans and other activities that might lower someone in the estimation of future employers.
Is it possible that information you post about your life - information that is out there for all time - will prove embarrassing for your future children?
I realise that "Mommy bloggers" must possibly be the worst offenders in the "creating a lifelong digital footprint" and "causing future embarrassment" stakes. All I can say in my own defence is that I hope I have pointed out my own failings more than my children's quirks, and that the kids can look back and say "bloody hell my mother was a nut" rather than "how could she have posted a picture of me doing that naked fairy dance!"
I think I'll save that one for the 21st.
* Almost a quarter (23 per cent) of children begin their digital lives when their parents upload their antenatal scans to the internet.
Fuente: NZ Herald
No doubt your parents have done what all Kiwi parents seem to love doing and displayed a lovingly hand-picked selection at your 21st party.
I was horrified to see, at my 21st, my mother's adoringly assembled montage of photos, including several from my fat, spotty, frizzy-haired (at that stage all-too-recent) adolescence.
"But I loved the way you were then," she said as I hysterically wailed in protest.
These days, parents hardly wait until a child's 21st any more. In fact, according to research out from AVG Technologies (a security software firm based in Oz), 91 per cent of Kiwi children have "some kind of digital dossier or footprint" on the internet by the time they are two years old.
By that, the research means that 91 per cent of Kiwi mothers with children under the age of two have uploaded images of their kids - whether that means a full moving montage with pictures on a custom-built website (a first child thing surely!) - or a picture on Facebook to let everyone know your child continues to have the requisite number of body parts.
A further third of all mothers had uploaded images of their newborns, and 23 per cent had uploaded antenatal scans online.
(I know people are in love with antenatal scans but really, what kind of information can they impart except that a child has its extremities? And even then, the information can be confusing. My sister sent me her child's scan, which seemed to indicate she was incubating a child with a leg coming out of its forehead. As you'd hope, this was an inaccurate reading of the situation!)
To my mind, the worry isn't particularly that a wide audience might be able to see pictures of your child. Despite the constant warnings about internet predators and paedophiles lurking, it seems to me that keeping tabs on your child's physical and emotional health in real life might counter internet "stranger danger" - at least as well as any other danger your child is going to face.
The real danger is that your child will eventually hate you sharing every intimate detail of their lives online.
As AVG says, you're "creating a digital history for a human being that will follow him or her around for the rest of [his or her] life".
Those warnings dovetail nicely with recent warnings about information posted to social networking sites like Facebook - information such as drunken escapades, sexy shennanigans and other activities that might lower someone in the estimation of future employers.
Is it possible that information you post about your life - information that is out there for all time - will prove embarrassing for your future children?
I realise that "Mommy bloggers" must possibly be the worst offenders in the "creating a lifelong digital footprint" and "causing future embarrassment" stakes. All I can say in my own defence is that I hope I have pointed out my own failings more than my children's quirks, and that the kids can look back and say "bloody hell my mother was a nut" rather than "how could she have posted a picture of me doing that naked fairy dance!"
I think I'll save that one for the 21st.
* Almost a quarter (23 per cent) of children begin their digital lives when their parents upload their antenatal scans to the internet.
Fuente: NZ Herald
sábado, 9 de octubre de 2010
Ser padres, una misión amorosa
Ser padres es, metafóricamente, dejar de ser "hijos" y encontrar en esta nueva función un espacio para dar el sentimiento de amor auténtico y propicio en pos de una bienvenida al mundo de este ser en miniatura. Ser padres configura un universo particular en cada uno, indescriptible, una experiencia que deja una marca indeleble y conmovedora en la mayoría de los seres humanos. Convertirnos en padres nos introduce en el terreno del misterio y en el clima del milagro de dar vida. Ser padres implica un CONCEPTO.
La concepción (palabra que deriva de "concepto") de un hijo se anticipa ni bien se comienza a imaginar su presencia: la subjetividad del niño dada por los otros, comienza a tomar cuerpo. Ya sea un hijo deseado, de un embarazo complicado, producto del deseo de adoptar, de fecundación in vitro, etc. se lo piensa intensamente y con mucha antelación de manera conceptual: ¿cuál será su género, su apariencia, a quién se va a parecer, qué nombre le pondremos, qué que va a ser cuando grande? En este clima expectante, la fantasía y la imagen le van moldeando una pre- identidad. Más allá de lo real en todo su esplendor que significa ver crecer la panza de la madre y experimentar los primeros movimientos y las patadas fuertes mientras va creciendo, el cuerpo de ambos padres registra todo el proceso del embarazo, no sin angustia y desconcierto pero también con mucha expectativa y alegría. No son raros los síntomas en ambos, tanto físicos (malestares inespecíficos, alergias, gastritis, insomnio, problemas de piel) así como los cambios abruptos de humor, los miedos y la incertidumbre acerca de desempeñarse adecuadamente en la nueva función.
"Quiero a un hijo cuando respeto sus sentimientos y necesidades aún antes de su nacimiento e intento atender a esas necesidades y derechos en la medida de todo lo posible. No quiero a un hijo cuando no lo trato como persona con mis mismos derechos sino como un objeto que tiene que ser corregido". Estas son palabras de Alice Miller – prestigiosa psicoanalista y filósofa - que ilustran con simpleza la respuesta a lo que los padres deberían preguntarse: ¿Cómo quererlo bien?
A pesar de que lo más significativo de esta época que vivimos implica cierto congelamiento emocional y la caída de la autoridad paterna tradicional, los embarazos continúan floreciendo en este contexto de cambios veloces como los rayos. Sería conveniente no dramatizar sobre lo que pasa y en lugar de evadirnos del problema y protestar porque "antes" era distinto, es aconsejable aprender sobre estas nuevas posiciones de padres y madres que se dan hoy en día y reflexionar y debatir con tiempo y tranquilidad. Escuchándonos atentamente y haciendo de esta escucha un aliado indispensable para alejar la ansiedad.
El psicoanálisis convencional ha construido categorías bastante monolíticas con respecto a la función paterna instalándola como la introducción tradicional del orden simbólico – la ley y los límites - para facilitar la creación de lazos sociales posteriores, separando al niño de la madre y permitiéndole su salida a la sociedad y a su cultura.
Reconocemos en esta nueva época un acuñamiento diferente en la constitución del niño con una sutil y menor identificación a las figuras parentales. El proyecto moderno ha entrado en crisis y han perdido sostén las instituciones: estado, familia, iglesia, escuela. El impacto de la cultura posmoderna y su fragmentación y globalización han ido imponiendo una pérdida de sentido de la historia personal, familiar y social, del pasado, y de las instituciones sociales y simbólicas sobre las que hemos descansado por varios siglos.
Puede sorprendernos que algunos sociólogos no se hayan dado cuenta todavía de que en la relación primitiva de la madre con el hijo les sería posible examinar el desarrollo de las relaciones sociales in statu nascendi. Lo dijo hace muchísimos años el doctor René Spitz, un investigador riguroso acerca de los primeros años de la vida del niño. Él hizo una descripción exhaustiva del "marasmo" infantil, un estado psicótico experimentado por los pequeños bebés hospitalizados sin la presencia de la madre. Atendidos en las necesidades biológicas a la perfección, pero privados del afecto u amor que los pudiese reconocer como futuros seres humanos.
Él explica con simpleza como en esta transición de lo fisiológico a lo psicológico que efectúa el niño desde el útero, las relaciones son de completo parasitismo y luego de una simbiosis con la mamá que dará lugar muy lentamente a la relación con otros objetos. En ninguna parte de la sociología se da una asimetría tan grande entre dos seres tan íntimamente ligados. George Simmel ha estudiado la díada, el acuñó ese nombre, diciendo que es ahí donde pude encontrarse el germen de todo desarrollo posterior de las relaciones sociales.
En el caso de los adultos, el medio está constituido por factores, grupos, individuos que influyen sobre la personalidad organizada de los mayores e interactúan con ella. Para el recién nacido el medio está compuesto de un solo individuo: madre o sustituto. El niño no lo percibe por separado, forma parte de sus necesidades y de su satisfacción: es un sistema cerrado.
Recién en el segundo mes el lactante manifiesta un interés exclusivo por el rostro humano. Contesta con sonrisa y es la primera manifestación activa, un resplandor débil del pasaje de la pasividad a la actividad.
Carmen Iriondo, Lic. En Psicología, autora del libro Memorias de una niña rehén.
La concepción (palabra que deriva de "concepto") de un hijo se anticipa ni bien se comienza a imaginar su presencia: la subjetividad del niño dada por los otros, comienza a tomar cuerpo. Ya sea un hijo deseado, de un embarazo complicado, producto del deseo de adoptar, de fecundación in vitro, etc. se lo piensa intensamente y con mucha antelación de manera conceptual: ¿cuál será su género, su apariencia, a quién se va a parecer, qué nombre le pondremos, qué que va a ser cuando grande? En este clima expectante, la fantasía y la imagen le van moldeando una pre- identidad. Más allá de lo real en todo su esplendor que significa ver crecer la panza de la madre y experimentar los primeros movimientos y las patadas fuertes mientras va creciendo, el cuerpo de ambos padres registra todo el proceso del embarazo, no sin angustia y desconcierto pero también con mucha expectativa y alegría. No son raros los síntomas en ambos, tanto físicos (malestares inespecíficos, alergias, gastritis, insomnio, problemas de piel) así como los cambios abruptos de humor, los miedos y la incertidumbre acerca de desempeñarse adecuadamente en la nueva función.
"Quiero a un hijo cuando respeto sus sentimientos y necesidades aún antes de su nacimiento e intento atender a esas necesidades y derechos en la medida de todo lo posible. No quiero a un hijo cuando no lo trato como persona con mis mismos derechos sino como un objeto que tiene que ser corregido". Estas son palabras de Alice Miller – prestigiosa psicoanalista y filósofa - que ilustran con simpleza la respuesta a lo que los padres deberían preguntarse: ¿Cómo quererlo bien?
A pesar de que lo más significativo de esta época que vivimos implica cierto congelamiento emocional y la caída de la autoridad paterna tradicional, los embarazos continúan floreciendo en este contexto de cambios veloces como los rayos. Sería conveniente no dramatizar sobre lo que pasa y en lugar de evadirnos del problema y protestar porque "antes" era distinto, es aconsejable aprender sobre estas nuevas posiciones de padres y madres que se dan hoy en día y reflexionar y debatir con tiempo y tranquilidad. Escuchándonos atentamente y haciendo de esta escucha un aliado indispensable para alejar la ansiedad.
El psicoanálisis convencional ha construido categorías bastante monolíticas con respecto a la función paterna instalándola como la introducción tradicional del orden simbólico – la ley y los límites - para facilitar la creación de lazos sociales posteriores, separando al niño de la madre y permitiéndole su salida a la sociedad y a su cultura.
Reconocemos en esta nueva época un acuñamiento diferente en la constitución del niño con una sutil y menor identificación a las figuras parentales. El proyecto moderno ha entrado en crisis y han perdido sostén las instituciones: estado, familia, iglesia, escuela. El impacto de la cultura posmoderna y su fragmentación y globalización han ido imponiendo una pérdida de sentido de la historia personal, familiar y social, del pasado, y de las instituciones sociales y simbólicas sobre las que hemos descansado por varios siglos.
Puede sorprendernos que algunos sociólogos no se hayan dado cuenta todavía de que en la relación primitiva de la madre con el hijo les sería posible examinar el desarrollo de las relaciones sociales in statu nascendi. Lo dijo hace muchísimos años el doctor René Spitz, un investigador riguroso acerca de los primeros años de la vida del niño. Él hizo una descripción exhaustiva del "marasmo" infantil, un estado psicótico experimentado por los pequeños bebés hospitalizados sin la presencia de la madre. Atendidos en las necesidades biológicas a la perfección, pero privados del afecto u amor que los pudiese reconocer como futuros seres humanos.
Él explica con simpleza como en esta transición de lo fisiológico a lo psicológico que efectúa el niño desde el útero, las relaciones son de completo parasitismo y luego de una simbiosis con la mamá que dará lugar muy lentamente a la relación con otros objetos. En ninguna parte de la sociología se da una asimetría tan grande entre dos seres tan íntimamente ligados. George Simmel ha estudiado la díada, el acuñó ese nombre, diciendo que es ahí donde pude encontrarse el germen de todo desarrollo posterior de las relaciones sociales.
En el caso de los adultos, el medio está constituido por factores, grupos, individuos que influyen sobre la personalidad organizada de los mayores e interactúan con ella. Para el recién nacido el medio está compuesto de un solo individuo: madre o sustituto. El niño no lo percibe por separado, forma parte de sus necesidades y de su satisfacción: es un sistema cerrado.
Recién en el segundo mes el lactante manifiesta un interés exclusivo por el rostro humano. Contesta con sonrisa y es la primera manifestación activa, un resplandor débil del pasaje de la pasividad a la actividad.
Carmen Iriondo, Lic. En Psicología, autora del libro Memorias de una niña rehén.
Ser padres es confiar en nuestros hijos
- Educar a un niño es siempre difícil cuando el adulto no tiene confianza en el niño en crecimiento.
- Para confiar en los niños a medida que crecen, los adultos deberán hacerle frente a sus propias contradicciones de manera tal que sus hijos se encuentren con la verdad y no con padres que se ocultan detrás de conflictos que no tienen nada que ver con los niños y su derecho a una infancia bien amparada.
- Deberán entender que la verdad de lo imaginario y la de lo real son simultáneamente dos niveles diferentes: esto no es incompatible pero provoca cierto malestar que hay que aprender a soportar. Hay muy pocas coincidencias entre lo que uno imagina como ideal y lo que presenta la realidad.
- Los niños son a veces portadores de aquello que hemos vivido mal y que rechazamos. Revisemos los padres con entusiasmo nuestras vidas para no proyectar o repetir en la vida de nuestros hijos las propias frustraciones.
- Para no alejar a nuestros hijos del orden del amor.
Carmen Iriondo, Lic. En Psicología, autora del libro Memorias de una niña rehén.
- Para confiar en los niños a medida que crecen, los adultos deberán hacerle frente a sus propias contradicciones de manera tal que sus hijos se encuentren con la verdad y no con padres que se ocultan detrás de conflictos que no tienen nada que ver con los niños y su derecho a una infancia bien amparada.
- Deberán entender que la verdad de lo imaginario y la de lo real son simultáneamente dos niveles diferentes: esto no es incompatible pero provoca cierto malestar que hay que aprender a soportar. Hay muy pocas coincidencias entre lo que uno imagina como ideal y lo que presenta la realidad.
- Los niños son a veces portadores de aquello que hemos vivido mal y que rechazamos. Revisemos los padres con entusiasmo nuestras vidas para no proyectar o repetir en la vida de nuestros hijos las propias frustraciones.
- Para no alejar a nuestros hijos del orden del amor.
Carmen Iriondo, Lic. En Psicología, autora del libro Memorias de una niña rehén.
viernes, 8 de octubre de 2010
Kiwi toddlers have big online footprint
New Zealand families are at the forefront of the international trend to upload prenatal ultrasound images, tweet pregnancy experiences, make online photo albums of children from birth, and even create email addresses for babies, international internet security company AVG says.
Parents in New Zealand are increasingly building digital footprints for their children before birth and from the moment they are born, according to a survey the company carried out in New Zealand, the United States, Canada, Australia, Japan, Britain, France, Germany, Italy and Spain.
The survey found that overall, 81 per cent of children under the age of two had some kind of digital profile or footprint, with images of them posted online.
In the US, 92 per cent of children have an online presence by the time they are two, with NZ toddlers hard on their heels at 91 per cent. Canada and Australia, at 84 per cent, lead the other nations, which averaged 73 per cent in Britain, France, Italy, Germany and Spain. Japan lagged on 43 per cent.
According to the research, the average digital birth of children happened at about six months, with 41 per cent of New Zealand and Australian children having photos and information posted online within weeks of being born. The next highest proportion of newborns with an online life from birth were in Britain and Canada (37 per cent each).
Almost a quarter (23 per cent) of children begin their digital lives when parents upload their prenatal scans to the internet, but the practice was more common in New Zealand (30 per cent), the US (34 per cent) and Canada (37 per cent). On average, this happened with only 14 per cent of parents in France, Italy, Germany and Japan.
Overall, 7 per cent of babies and toddlers have an email address created for them by their parents, and 5 per cent have a social network profile, but in New Zealand the figures were 4 per cent and 6 per cent respectively.
When asked what motivates parents to post images of their babies on the internet, more than 70 per cent of all mothers surveyed said it was to share with friends and family, but 22 per cent of mothers in the US said they wanted to add more content to their own social network profiles.
The AVG survey also found mothers were moderately concerned about the amount of online information that would be available on their children in future years, with Spanish mothers the most concerned and Canadian mothers the least worried.
AVG, in a statement, urged parents to be aware of the privacy settings they had set on their social networks and other profiles.
The research was conducted by Research Now among 2200 mothers with toddlers during September.
Fuente: NZ Herald
Parents in New Zealand are increasingly building digital footprints for their children before birth and from the moment they are born, according to a survey the company carried out in New Zealand, the United States, Canada, Australia, Japan, Britain, France, Germany, Italy and Spain.
The survey found that overall, 81 per cent of children under the age of two had some kind of digital profile or footprint, with images of them posted online.
In the US, 92 per cent of children have an online presence by the time they are two, with NZ toddlers hard on their heels at 91 per cent. Canada and Australia, at 84 per cent, lead the other nations, which averaged 73 per cent in Britain, France, Italy, Germany and Spain. Japan lagged on 43 per cent.
According to the research, the average digital birth of children happened at about six months, with 41 per cent of New Zealand and Australian children having photos and information posted online within weeks of being born. The next highest proportion of newborns with an online life from birth were in Britain and Canada (37 per cent each).
Almost a quarter (23 per cent) of children begin their digital lives when parents upload their prenatal scans to the internet, but the practice was more common in New Zealand (30 per cent), the US (34 per cent) and Canada (37 per cent). On average, this happened with only 14 per cent of parents in France, Italy, Germany and Japan.
Overall, 7 per cent of babies and toddlers have an email address created for them by their parents, and 5 per cent have a social network profile, but in New Zealand the figures were 4 per cent and 6 per cent respectively.
When asked what motivates parents to post images of their babies on the internet, more than 70 per cent of all mothers surveyed said it was to share with friends and family, but 22 per cent of mothers in the US said they wanted to add more content to their own social network profiles.
The AVG survey also found mothers were moderately concerned about the amount of online information that would be available on their children in future years, with Spanish mothers the most concerned and Canadian mothers the least worried.
AVG, in a statement, urged parents to be aware of the privacy settings they had set on their social networks and other profiles.
The research was conducted by Research Now among 2200 mothers with toddlers during September.
Fuente: NZ Herald
martes, 21 de septiembre de 2010
Do Rewards Work? Two opinions on children's reward systems
The experts agree: Bribes are bad and surprises are super. But can reward systems help kids change their behaviour? Carolyn Webster-Stratton says “sometimes” — with the right planning and follow-through from parents, incentives can be the boost some children need to move on with an important developmental task. Alyson Schafer, meanwhile, says “seldom” — she believes that rewarding kids takes the fun out of learning to do things independently and keeps kids from meeting their potential. Here are the arguments.
PRO – An extra boost
Young children work hard to meet their milestones — whether it’s becoming toilet trained, dressing independently, playing co-operatively or learning to read. Encouragement and praise from parents help them get there but, occasionally, kids need a little extra incentive. That’s where rewards can be helpful.
Parents sometimes worry that rewards will make their children “sticker dependent,” or that using rewards will decrease inner motivation. It’s true that these things might happen when rewards are not well planned or are not developmentally appropriate. However, when used correctly, rewards can help kids succeed, make them proud of their accomplishments, and motivate them to keep working on challenges.
In my book, The Incredible Years, I outline the steps to follow when setting up a reward system:
• Define the desired behaviour clearly: “Sit quietly and read a few pages of your book” is better than “Turn off the TV and do something else.”
• Don’t make reward programs too complex; choose one or two behaviours to start.
• Choose incentives that are cheap and fun. An extra bedtime story or 10 minutes of playtime can work as well as or better than a prize.
• Pair rewards with praise and attention.
• When you see the behaviour you want, be sure to reward your child.
• Change or phase out the rewards as the behaviour becomes easier for your child.
• For kids four to six years, spontaneous, surprise rewards are the best way to celebrate successes. If your five-year-old waited quietly until you were off the phone, treat him to a story for being so patient.
• Six- to 10-year-olds often like points or stickers they can trade in for a reward of their choice (subject to your approval, of course).
• Trying to bribe kids with the promise of a reward while they are in the midst of misbehaving is ineffective and counterproductive.
Here are two ways parents might use rewards. Six-year-old Marcus is struggling with reading. When his parents ask him to read instead of watch TV, he gets frustrated and distracted, and quickly gives up. So his mother sets up a system in which Marcus receives a special dinosaur sticker every time he reads a page with her. When he has five stickers, Marcus can have 10 minutes of playtime with his mom (or a small treat, or TV time).
Marcus’s mom uses a kitchen timer to let him know when 10 minutes of playtime have passed. And while he is reading, she sits with him, coaching and praising his effort: “I’m so proud of how hard you worked to read those pages! I bet you’re proud of yourself for doing that much reading!” Once Marcus is more independent and self-confident about reading, his mom can eliminate the reward or set a harder goal, such as reading more pages before getting a sticker.
Now consider another six-year-old boy, Ben, who throws a tantrum at the mall when his mom asks him to sit quietly while she speaks with a sales clerk. She responds by giving him some candy so he will stop yelling. The candy is a bribe, not a reward, because it is given before the desired behaviour has occurred and is actually reinforcing the yelling behaviour.
Misusing rewards does not help Ben to learn how to wait independently; he’s actually learning to use tantrums to get what he wants. A better way to handle the situation would be for Ben’s mom to plan with him that he could earn a sticker at each store where he waited quietly, and when he earned four stickers, he’d be treated to a special treat such as ice cream.
I like to describe rewards as a kind of scaffolding that can be removed when the new behaviour has a solid foundation. Remember how you supported your baby as he learned to crawl, and then walk? Rewards can perform the same role in a child’s emotional and social development.
— Carolyn Webster-Stratton, clinical psychologist, director of the Parenting Clinic at the University of Washington in Seattle, and creator of The Incredible Years, a training program for parents, teachers and children.
Fuente: Today´s Parents
PRO – An extra boost
Young children work hard to meet their milestones — whether it’s becoming toilet trained, dressing independently, playing co-operatively or learning to read. Encouragement and praise from parents help them get there but, occasionally, kids need a little extra incentive. That’s where rewards can be helpful.
Parents sometimes worry that rewards will make their children “sticker dependent,” or that using rewards will decrease inner motivation. It’s true that these things might happen when rewards are not well planned or are not developmentally appropriate. However, when used correctly, rewards can help kids succeed, make them proud of their accomplishments, and motivate them to keep working on challenges.
In my book, The Incredible Years, I outline the steps to follow when setting up a reward system:
• Define the desired behaviour clearly: “Sit quietly and read a few pages of your book” is better than “Turn off the TV and do something else.”
• Don’t make reward programs too complex; choose one or two behaviours to start.
• Choose incentives that are cheap and fun. An extra bedtime story or 10 minutes of playtime can work as well as or better than a prize.
• Pair rewards with praise and attention.
• When you see the behaviour you want, be sure to reward your child.
• Change or phase out the rewards as the behaviour becomes easier for your child.
• For kids four to six years, spontaneous, surprise rewards are the best way to celebrate successes. If your five-year-old waited quietly until you were off the phone, treat him to a story for being so patient.
• Six- to 10-year-olds often like points or stickers they can trade in for a reward of their choice (subject to your approval, of course).
• Trying to bribe kids with the promise of a reward while they are in the midst of misbehaving is ineffective and counterproductive.
Here are two ways parents might use rewards. Six-year-old Marcus is struggling with reading. When his parents ask him to read instead of watch TV, he gets frustrated and distracted, and quickly gives up. So his mother sets up a system in which Marcus receives a special dinosaur sticker every time he reads a page with her. When he has five stickers, Marcus can have 10 minutes of playtime with his mom (or a small treat, or TV time).
Marcus’s mom uses a kitchen timer to let him know when 10 minutes of playtime have passed. And while he is reading, she sits with him, coaching and praising his effort: “I’m so proud of how hard you worked to read those pages! I bet you’re proud of yourself for doing that much reading!” Once Marcus is more independent and self-confident about reading, his mom can eliminate the reward or set a harder goal, such as reading more pages before getting a sticker.
Now consider another six-year-old boy, Ben, who throws a tantrum at the mall when his mom asks him to sit quietly while she speaks with a sales clerk. She responds by giving him some candy so he will stop yelling. The candy is a bribe, not a reward, because it is given before the desired behaviour has occurred and is actually reinforcing the yelling behaviour.
Misusing rewards does not help Ben to learn how to wait independently; he’s actually learning to use tantrums to get what he wants. A better way to handle the situation would be for Ben’s mom to plan with him that he could earn a sticker at each store where he waited quietly, and when he earned four stickers, he’d be treated to a special treat such as ice cream.
I like to describe rewards as a kind of scaffolding that can be removed when the new behaviour has a solid foundation. Remember how you supported your baby as he learned to crawl, and then walk? Rewards can perform the same role in a child’s emotional and social development.
— Carolyn Webster-Stratton, clinical psychologist, director of the Parenting Clinic at the University of Washington in Seattle, and creator of The Incredible Years, a training program for parents, teachers and children.
Fuente: Today´s Parents
What Are Babies Watching?
The first study for your consideration in the top ten psychology studies is by Robert Fantz, a developmental psychologist, and it is deceptively simple. Like many of us staring at young babies, Fantz wondered how much they understand about the world. "The eyes of tiny infants look glazed and they mostly seem concerned with the bare necessities of life."The eyes of tiny infants look glazed and they mostly seem concerned with the bare necessities of life. What do they understand about the world and how can you possibly find out, given that babies are not so hot on answering complex questions about their perceptual abilities?
In 1961, when Fantz carried out his experiment, there wasn't much you could do to find out what was going on in a baby's head - other than watch. And watching the baby is what he did.
An enduring feature of human nature is if there's something of interest near us, we generally look at it. So Fantz set up a display board above the baby to which were attached two pictures (Fantz, 1961). On one was a bulls-eye and on the other was the sketch of a human face. Then, from behind the board, invisible to the baby, he peeked through a hole to watch what the baby looked at.
Results
"...a two-month old baby looked twice as much at the human face as it did at the bulls-eye."What he found was that a two-month old baby looked twice as much at the human face as it did at the bulls-eye. This suggested that human babies have some powers of pattern and form selection. Before this it was thought that babies looked out onto a chaotic world of which they could make little sense.
In modern psychology the descendents of this experiment are still used today to find out what babies understand about the world. These have discovered that we're remarkably early developers. At one month we can follow a slow-moving object. At two months we can move both our eyes together and begin to appreciate how far away things are. At three months we can tell the difference between members of our family (Hunt, 1993).
As a result of these and similar studies, psychologists have suggested that we are born with a definite preference for viewing human faces. This would certainly make evolutionary sense as other human faces hold all sorts of useful information which is vital for our survival.
Not a bad set of conclusions from simply watching a baby's eyes! So Robert Fantz is the first nomination for the top ten studies in psychology.
References
Fantz, R. (1961). The origin of form perception. Scientific American, 204, 66-72.
Hunt, M. (1993). The story of psychology. London: Doubleday.
Fuente: http://tinyurl.com/35gjye4
In 1961, when Fantz carried out his experiment, there wasn't much you could do to find out what was going on in a baby's head - other than watch. And watching the baby is what he did.
An enduring feature of human nature is if there's something of interest near us, we generally look at it. So Fantz set up a display board above the baby to which were attached two pictures (Fantz, 1961). On one was a bulls-eye and on the other was the sketch of a human face. Then, from behind the board, invisible to the baby, he peeked through a hole to watch what the baby looked at.
Results
"...a two-month old baby looked twice as much at the human face as it did at the bulls-eye."What he found was that a two-month old baby looked twice as much at the human face as it did at the bulls-eye. This suggested that human babies have some powers of pattern and form selection. Before this it was thought that babies looked out onto a chaotic world of which they could make little sense.
In modern psychology the descendents of this experiment are still used today to find out what babies understand about the world. These have discovered that we're remarkably early developers. At one month we can follow a slow-moving object. At two months we can move both our eyes together and begin to appreciate how far away things are. At three months we can tell the difference between members of our family (Hunt, 1993).
As a result of these and similar studies, psychologists have suggested that we are born with a definite preference for viewing human faces. This would certainly make evolutionary sense as other human faces hold all sorts of useful information which is vital for our survival.
Not a bad set of conclusions from simply watching a baby's eyes! So Robert Fantz is the first nomination for the top ten studies in psychology.
References
Fantz, R. (1961). The origin of form perception. Scientific American, 204, 66-72.
Hunt, M. (1993). The story of psychology. London: Doubleday.
Fuente: http://tinyurl.com/35gjye4
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